Welcome to The White Sheep

Announcing: a historic merger of two media companies.

Monday, April 1 — National Public Radio, Inc. (NPR) has announced that it has entered an agreement to acquire The Black Sheep, LLC, a Substack-based publication. 

As part of the merger, The Black Sheep will rebrand as The White Sheep, a change designed to signal the publication’s mass appeal. The White Sheep will help diversify NPR into the rapidly growing subscription newsletter industry.

“We are thrilled to acquire The Black Sheep and ‘shepherd’ it into a new era,” said NPR President and CEO John Lansing.

“The White Sheep will be a new home for NPR’s signature commitment to fair and impartial enforcement of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion in media.” 

The merger creates one of the biggest state-affiliated Substack publications in the U.S. and will strengthen NPR’s ability to reach the increasing number of people turning away from traditional media for mysterious reasons. The deal, which is subject to customary closing conditions and regulatory approval, is expected to close in Q2 2024.

John Lansing will remain the President and CEO of NPR. The Black Sheep co-founders Salomé Sibonex and Joseph Klein will join the board of NPR and maintain a presence at the company to help drive key strategic initiatives, advise on commercial and corporate development, and combat today's dangerous trend toward media skepticism.

“I’m proud to join NPR’s efforts to save our democracy from misinformation, capitalism, and the increasing rate of white supremacy enacted by people of color. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for a yacht sale,” said Salomé Sibonex.

“As a lifelong proponent of selling out, I’m excited to join NPR and support its guiding principles of accurate, fair, and complete journalism. However, if Infowars, The Huffington Post, or any others would like to make an offer, I’m prepared to change my view on that,” said Joseph Klein.

NPR will restructure The White Sheep to bring the publication in line with its austere but impactful new strategy, an approach employed after major budget cuts and roughly 10% of its workforce were laid off due to falling revenue—again, for mysterious reasons. The White Sheep will include:

• A Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion team to ensure a healthy, happy workplace free of micro-aggressions.

• An anti-misinformation editorial process, which will ensure all content is reviewed in partnership with the CIA and FBI to prevent misinformation about government influence in the media.

• A weekly column from esteemed immunologist Anthony S. Fauci communicating the latest public health recommendations.

• Some journalism work here and there.

Speaking of the publication’s new direction, John Lansing expressed: “The White Sheep will play a key role in NPR’s mission of creating a more informed public, bringing academic and expert validated reporting to a Substack network currently littered with conspiracy theories on topics like COVID-19 and climate change.”

The acquisition is one of two that NPR has announced in 2024, ending a year of imminent irrelevancy for the company.

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Welcome to The White Sheep! To celebrate our new direction, we’d love to hear from our fellow white sheep: how are you going to embrace groupthink and avoid individualism today? 

Thanks for helping us build a darker future where the ends always justify the means. 

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