These Three Questions Can Reveal How You Live Your Life
Conservative Writer Adam Coleman showed me that how you think > what you think.
Many of our disagreements now happen on platforms designed primarily to keep our attention, not to facilitate something as complex and emotional as debating deep-seated moral beliefs.
Lost amid the memes, cancel culture, and bot armies is the value of disagreement: a chance to expand our worldview and add color to black-and-white thinking.
I’m working with Integrally to put our attention back on the art of disagreement—not just because toxic disagreement is one of the viciously polarizing forces in our culture, but because how you disagree is often how you do everything.
As you encounter the three questions I asked my friend Adam B. Coleman in this interview, do something different: instead of focusing on what your answer is, notice how you form that answer.
This conversation isn’t about convincing you to agree. It’s about showing what careful disagreement looks like.
Adam B. Coleman is an author, speaker, and conservative commentator. I asked him to explain his position on these 3 controversial topics:
Can single mothers do as good a job raising children as a two-parent household if they try hard enough?
Is the media responsible for a significant portion of our country’s cultural problems, like division and nihilism?
Are people seeking justice for past oppressions against their identity group more likely to do more harm than good?
If you want a clear picture of how you handle most of your life, answer these questions the way you normally would.
Maybe your impulse is to scoff at the question and answer with a sarcastic one-liner. Maybe this parallels the change-averse, defensive way you handle other challenges in your life.
Maybe you pause and think through your answer from multiple angles, crafting a careful response that considers opposing views. Maybe this parallels the careful, strategic way you approach the rest of your life.
If you’re not sure how your argumentation style reflects your way of living, that may be even more informative. Maybe your tendency to avoid the discomfort of disagreement mirrors other places where avoidance shapes your life more than you do.
The best way to become more conscious of how you argue isn’t by fighting on social media or trying to miraculously stay mindful during a heated argument. It’s on platforms like Integrally, where you can anonymously practice constructive disagreement and dialogue with a built-in system for rewarding your high-integrity arguments.
I find myself using social media less and less, as it feels more and more like trying to have a philosophical conversation with a mob of patients in a psychiatric ward.
But what really worries me is that young people are getting most of their practice in forming arguments on social media—the place where the worst behavior often gets rewarded.
Platforms like Integrally offer some hope. Join me there and share your answers to the questions above.
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Is the media responsible for a significant portion of our country’s cultural problems, like division and nihilism?
Yes. I agree with Adam that the media is significantly responsible for the countries cultural problems. I would add that citizens who accept the media narratives also are responsible. Thinking critically about what you are being told in the media (or by anyone) is the responsibity of the person who is failing to think critically. Many people are choosing to accept what authority figures tell them because it is easier.
Can single mothers do as good a job raising children as a two-parent household if they try hard enough?
Yes, if you view raising children as the responsibility of the Village (Community) The issue is the social isolation that many people experience, not being a single mother / father. Two parents raising a child have a better chance, but ultimately parents need support too. Children need men & women who are committed to their lives and that need extends beyond the parents.