Nice piece, Lilah. So glad to hear you're still married. Your children absolutely need you, and your husband sounds like a good man.
There's little discussion about baseline female characteristics -- but just like a man ain't worth a shit if they won't protect and provide (they can be all sorts of stuff on top of that, but that better be the foundation) women are built on nurture and social control. For basic reasons. If you're interested, you can take a deeper dive here. https://empathy.guru/2024/07/11/are-men-from-mars-and-women-from-venus/
Thank you Lilah Fisher Wise for this outstanding piece that ought to be on the front page of the New York Times or the Washington Post! 👏👏👏 It was absolutely fascinating to hear how your thought process around the issue of gender changed over time and how you transformed politically from a dyed in the wool liberal Democrat to an independent moderate who thinks for herself. You are so right, modern day feminism seeks to make women exactly like men. Here’s the thing though, women and men can be equal AND different! They don’t have to be the same to be equal! Men and women gravitate towards different clothing, are attracted to different colors, take different jobs, have different interests, and have unique biological inclinations. Much as some leftists in Academia try to suppress these facts they are true. Gender differences come from nature NOT nurture. There is plenty of science to back this up. Charles Murray’s excellent book “Human Diversity” is full of scholarly evidence showing the neurological differences between men and women and that men generally have certain personality traits and women generally have certain personality traits. None of this is to say women should be limited to only certain fields that they are naturally attracted to nor is it to say ALL men or ALL women share the same traits. Both genders should have all doors open to them and men can have female traits and visa versa. But generally speaking, certain jobs will be male dominated and some will be female dominated and men for example are more stoic and serious than women and women are more nurturing and emotional than men are. And that’s perfectly okay! I’m glad you and your husband are still married and that you are now in a better place in your life and were deradicalized away from fourth-wave feminist ideology! I’m also glad you teach your daughter to think for herself and be her own person. Indeed there is nothing more sexist than telling a woman you need to vote for a candidate because she is a woman too. Traditional gender roles between men and women are perfectly fine as long as they are not forced on one like they were on women before the late-20th Century. Also, as long as it is the personal choice of a woman and not a societal expectation, I don’t think there is anything wrong with women being stay at home moms and homemakers. You know it’s interesting, in Scandinavia which is the area of the world that is the most advanced when it comes to gender equality, sex differences in who takes certain jobs has in fact, widened. No one saw this coming. This I would say is because when both sexes are allowed to do what comes naturally to them, they jump at the chance. We as a society here in America, can give people freedom while also acknowledging biological and neurological reality.
Wonderfully said Noah! This is a great summary that synthesizes the importance of innate sex differences *and* acknowledges that women are still individuals who have the right to vary from those biological propensities in ways that help them thrive. It's unfortunate the discourse around feminism and women's needs has become so black-and-white that people aren't able to hold these two truths simultaneously!
I think denying our innate sex differences puts pressure on women to rebel against these natural tendencies because they're told these are nothing but misogynist social programming. This sets women up for a long, hard process of realizing somethings are innate to being female and that's okay.
I'm glad you enjoyed Lilah's essay! It's a beautiful example of someone bringing these two concepts—innate biological tendencies and personal freedom—into a complementary, authentic perspective!
Thank you for sharing your story!! I can’t overstate how important it is.
Nice piece, Lilah. So glad to hear you're still married. Your children absolutely need you, and your husband sounds like a good man.
There's little discussion about baseline female characteristics -- but just like a man ain't worth a shit if they won't protect and provide (they can be all sorts of stuff on top of that, but that better be the foundation) women are built on nurture and social control. For basic reasons. If you're interested, you can take a deeper dive here. https://empathy.guru/2024/07/11/are-men-from-mars-and-women-from-venus/
Thank you Lilah Fisher Wise for this outstanding piece that ought to be on the front page of the New York Times or the Washington Post! 👏👏👏 It was absolutely fascinating to hear how your thought process around the issue of gender changed over time and how you transformed politically from a dyed in the wool liberal Democrat to an independent moderate who thinks for herself. You are so right, modern day feminism seeks to make women exactly like men. Here’s the thing though, women and men can be equal AND different! They don’t have to be the same to be equal! Men and women gravitate towards different clothing, are attracted to different colors, take different jobs, have different interests, and have unique biological inclinations. Much as some leftists in Academia try to suppress these facts they are true. Gender differences come from nature NOT nurture. There is plenty of science to back this up. Charles Murray’s excellent book “Human Diversity” is full of scholarly evidence showing the neurological differences between men and women and that men generally have certain personality traits and women generally have certain personality traits. None of this is to say women should be limited to only certain fields that they are naturally attracted to nor is it to say ALL men or ALL women share the same traits. Both genders should have all doors open to them and men can have female traits and visa versa. But generally speaking, certain jobs will be male dominated and some will be female dominated and men for example are more stoic and serious than women and women are more nurturing and emotional than men are. And that’s perfectly okay! I’m glad you and your husband are still married and that you are now in a better place in your life and were deradicalized away from fourth-wave feminist ideology! I’m also glad you teach your daughter to think for herself and be her own person. Indeed there is nothing more sexist than telling a woman you need to vote for a candidate because she is a woman too. Traditional gender roles between men and women are perfectly fine as long as they are not forced on one like they were on women before the late-20th Century. Also, as long as it is the personal choice of a woman and not a societal expectation, I don’t think there is anything wrong with women being stay at home moms and homemakers. You know it’s interesting, in Scandinavia which is the area of the world that is the most advanced when it comes to gender equality, sex differences in who takes certain jobs has in fact, widened. No one saw this coming. This I would say is because when both sexes are allowed to do what comes naturally to them, they jump at the chance. We as a society here in America, can give people freedom while also acknowledging biological and neurological reality.
Wonderfully said Noah! This is a great summary that synthesizes the importance of innate sex differences *and* acknowledges that women are still individuals who have the right to vary from those biological propensities in ways that help them thrive. It's unfortunate the discourse around feminism and women's needs has become so black-and-white that people aren't able to hold these two truths simultaneously!
I think denying our innate sex differences puts pressure on women to rebel against these natural tendencies because they're told these are nothing but misogynist social programming. This sets women up for a long, hard process of realizing somethings are innate to being female and that's okay.
I'm glad you enjoyed Lilah's essay! It's a beautiful example of someone bringing these two concepts—innate biological tendencies and personal freedom—into a complementary, authentic perspective!
*seventy-five